a space to rest, feel and process.
Therapy for Grief in Oak Park IL
Virtual in Chicago and across Illinois
You know you have to figure out how to get through this, but you don’t know how.
Maybe you are….
feeling intense sorrow and longing
finding it difficult to focus on work because your brain seems dull and slow
preoccupied with what you could have done differently to prevent the loss
struggling and confused about changing routines and relationships
feeling guilty on days when you feel better or experience moments of happiness
When the loss first happened you had a lot of support - meals, calls, carpool help, company. But the help has slowly faded away. It feels impossible to do your job. It’s hard to keep track of deadlines and everything feels hard.
At home you find yourself staring into space or breaking down making coffee. Small everyday tasks seem to highlight what you have lost. Talking to friends seems like a good idea, but you often feel disconnected and confused. You know your kids have questions, but you don’t feel like you have any answers.
Your feelings change from minute to minute - sad, rage, guilt, confused, tired, fine, lonely. It is overwhelming and confusing. People keep saying that everyone grieves in their own way, but you don’t know what that means and it just makes you feel more alone.
Therapy can’t change what you have lost, but it can help you not feel alone.
How therapy works
Part of why we grieve is because we have lost an important connection. Therapy can’t change what you have lost. But it can offer you a place to share your sorrow and longing. Grief can feel so heavy, sometimes making you even feel physically weighed down. Using therapy to express all the parts of your grief, your day to day life will begin to feel less lonely and confusing.
You can begin to believe and trust that, although there will still be days where you feel deep longing or anger, it won’t stay that way. You will find the freedom from guilt so you can notice and appreciate moments of joy in your days.
Discover an inner steadiness that allows you to have gratitude for some moments and buoys you through difficult ones.
I can be with you in sorrow, empathize with your anger, and listen to your guilt. I can offer you a space to rest, feel and process. Grief therapy can look different from week to week. One week you might want to share warm memories and laugh. A different week you might need to talk about sadness or anger. I create space for you to express anything, even things that you may have been afraid to say. You are empowered to focus sessions on what you need most.
I can also offer you some perspective about grief and answers to common questions. Your grief is unique to you and there are some common experiences that many people share which can provide some comfort. You can also learn new skills and ways of thinking that will help you feel more steady when an intense feeling comes up. You will also discover ways to make meaning from your loss which will support you to feel more grounded.
Most of all, not feeling alone with all of the feelings, memories, and changes is transformative.
Therapy for grief can help you…
Prioritize yourself and what you need in the grieving process
Discover joy and contentment without the guilt
Identify things that help you move through grief
Reduce self blame and judgment for how you are experiencing grief
Feel less alone and more supported
Frequently asked questions about Grief therapy
FAQs
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Feeling a safe and genuine connection to your therapist is vital. I offer a free 15 minute consultation, so you can see if we are a good match. If the fit feels right, we will schedule your first appointment and you can fill out paperwork online. Sessions can be virtual or in person. Learn more.
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If you think you could use more support, reach out! Oftentimes people start grief therapy because they are feeling alone or find getting through the day difficult or they are irritable and short with those around them. Grief therapy can be personalized to what you are needing. The most common mistake I see people make after a loss is waiting too long to get support. You deserve care and support. Learn more.
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Yes! How we experience and understand grief changes over time. It is common for a loss that happened earlier in your life to still play a part in your relationships, anxiety, or how you feel about yourself. Often times, milestones can bring up a lot of feelings - maybe you approaching your wedding day and it is highlighting the loss of a parent; or you are about to have a birthday and it will be the year you are older than your mother when she died; possibly the first birthday of the child you didn’t get to meet; or summer days remind you of how much you loved walking your dog. Grief Therapy can help you explore your past loss and how it is coming up for you now. Learn more.
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There really is not a timeline for grief. Many people might share opinions about how long you “should” grieve or when you will “feel better”. In reality, there is no way to know how anyone will cope with loss. How long the grieving process takes for you is influenced by details of your loss, your history, and the support and community you receive following the loss. It is not uncommon to feel like you are improving and then experience a set back. There can be a back and forth sense to grief. Learn more.
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This answer will be different for different families. Generally it is a good idea to not hide the loss and to be ready to answer your child’s question in an age appropriate way. Attending a funeral will depend on the child, the nature of the loss and the relationship the child had with the person who died.
It can be really helpful to children to get clear answers to their questions as well as to be included in some rituals. Children often enjoy helping to put together a photo collage, or writing a letter or drawing a picture for the person who died. Your family might have other rituals that could easily include your child.
No matter what rituals/ceremonies your child participates in, it can be really helpful to make a plan beforehand. Plan for how your child will have regular meals/snacks, take a nap, and take a break when needed. It can be really helpful to have one or two people who can be with your child throughout the day. Learn more.
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Yes! Children and families often need support following a loss. Children’s experience of loss is heavily influenced by their stage of development. In addition, children are often confused by the reactions of other family members. They also ask really hard questions! Grief therapy can give children space to ask questions, voice concerns, and experience their feelings without having to worry that it will upset a parent/significant person who is also grieving. Grief therapy can help parents ask questions and get feedback about how to help outside of session. Please visit my Therapy for Children page for more about my therapy approach with kids. Learn more.
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I support people of all different backgrounds and belief systems. My therapy training and approach is not religious in nature. However, grief therapy commonly includes questions and discussions of beliefs following a loss. Sometimes spiritual faith might become stronger, but others may question their faith. I am comfortable holding space for you to explore your feelings about your religion/spirituality following a loss. Learn more.
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Normal grief is a tricky idea. Everyone is going to experience grief slightly differently, but some things are common. Experiencing a wide range of feelings - sorrow, anger, guilt, anxiety, relief, gratitude, loneliness - is common. As is, having trouble sleeping and experiencing a change in appetite. Often people feel exhausted for a period of time and struggle to keep a similar routine. It is common to have trouble concentrating, making decisions and remembering details. Changes in relationships often happen following a loss. Learn more.
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Grief Therapy isn’t just for the death of a loved one. Loss can come from a job loss or the end of a friendship or the death of a pet. If you are experiencing grief, getting support can be helpful regardless of the kind of loss. Learn more.